Radio Vignette

Good Morning 2000

Missing players? If you’re short players, drop characters in order of John Ode, Brian, Camilla.

Events in the Scenario:

1. Running the vignettes:

These little scenes have two purposes. Firstly, they’re supposed to set the scene and tone of the scenario, as well as foreshadow the introduction of the second set of PCs halfway through. Secondly, they’ll wake the players up. UA is supposed to be unsettling. Players used to the normal convention (pardon the pun) of being handed a character sheet and having boxed text intoned at them will be caught off-guard by rapid scene-changed and character shifting. (This bit is either pretentious or post-modern. Take your pick.)

Anyway, hand out the little two-three line characters. Run the radio vignette first. Voice 1 (Frank) and Voice 2 (Taliah) are in a car driving to Providence. One player reads out the Dirk Allen monologue, and the two playing the Voices have a short conversation about it. Depending on how much the players get into it, this should last between 20 seconds and 3 minutes. The moment this starts to drag, switch to the police jail scene. Here, the two cops question weird old Merl. Again, this should only last very few minutes.

The vignettes end on the stroke of midnight. Make party noises and should happy New Year.

Ignore blank looks from the players. If they can’t get into this, they’re going to be even more lost later on.

2. The Morning After the End of Everything

Hand out the temple characters. They and Vernon Blackwood are in the main hall of the Temple of the Celestial Clergy. It’s 3 minutes to midnight.

The Temple: Despite its grand name, the Temple is a converted youth hostel. The upper three floors are all abandoned and unused dorms. The basement is the main “temple”, and is decorated in a bizarre style, best described as what HR Giger would do if all he had to work with was blue curtains and flowery cushions. There is a large and badly drawn mural on one wall, which takes the Michaelangelo’s Last Judgement from the Sistine Chapel and replaces the naked souls with people in modern clothing.

On the ground floor is a canteen and tv room, as well as Vernon’s office. The floor above that is the dorm used by the Temple-goers.

Vernon Blackwood: High Archon of the Temple of the Celestial Clergy, Vernon knows with all his soul that the world is about to end. He saw the Naked Goddess tape a few years back, and has a dim, subconscious understanding of the Invisible Clergy and Ascensions. He believes that Ascension comes through pure willpower and faith, and that the Clergy will be filled at the Millennium, ushering in the Second Coming of Christ. The Clergy are the New Angels (obviously, the porn star was the Reincarnation of Mary Magdelene.)

Anyway, play Vernon as a standard cult leader, although he doesn’t have the charisma of a Koresh or a Jones, or even a Hubbard. He does have a kind of stumbling blind faith in the Clergy, but he’s no Messiah. His cult is seven people, remember? He’s smart enough to come up with an answer to most questions, but he’s not an evil genius.

3. The scenario actually begins:

As midnight approaches, Vernon gathers his faithful, and orders them to pray and focus their minds on the Rapture that is coming with the midnight. When the clock strikes 12, the world will end, and the Glory will begin. He’ll spout a monologue about the “divine New Angels who will Ascend this night to usher the Second Coming of the Messiah, who will judge the world and cast those down who are hateful in his sight my children”. The pace of his ranting gets faster and faster as midnight approaches. A sense of mystical energy fills the room, a sense of impending purpose. Vernon’s rant slows, and he begins to chant “it’s coming, oh Lord can’t you fell the Rapture my children, can’t you feel them? Pray to the Celestial Clergy to lift us up out of this coming Apocalypse and set us at the right hand of the Lord! Pray! Pray!”. At this point, Maise Blackwood casts her spell. Vernon senses it “what you doing, Maise??”. The clock strikes 12. Vernon throws his hands up and shouts “The Rapture”.

Nothing happens.

The cult continue praying in an increasingly dis-heartened manner until around 2am. Vernon stumbles out of the room around 3, and locks himself in the bathroom.

Nothing happens the whole night.

It’s 5am. January 1st, 2000.

The characters are in the canteen in the Temple of the Celestial Clergy. The night before, they were all prepared for the end. The main room of the temple has a ring of cushions where they were all kneeling in prayer at the stroke of midnight. Let the players roleplay for a while. The characters should be shocked with the utter anticlimax. All of them expected the world to end last night. Now they’re stuck here in the cold light of morning.

Vernon is still in the men’s bathroom, refusing to talk to anyone. If they try to break the door down, he’ll shout that he’s “meditating” and should be left alone. If the characters wander around, they can find:

If the characters bother to wander around town, remember it’s early in the morning on New Year’s Day 2000 and nothing apart from the 24-hour is going to be open.

4. Gatecrashers of reality

As the morning wears on, things start happening in the Temple. Across the world, people start waking, and the psychic hangover Dirk Allen prophesied manifests as the aborted potentiality of the Millennium leaks into the statosphere. Maise’s curse taps into this matrix of negativity energy, and grows far more powerful than she intended.

The following weird events start happening in the Temple.

5. Enter the Demon:

This last occurrence is noticed by Vernon, who staggers out of the bathroom. His shirt is stained with traces of vomit, and he looks like he’s been crying. He stumbles out shouting angrily “Asar! Asar! Who has defiled my Church? Who is pinning me to the ground? Bitch! Bitch!” A few moments after Vernon emerges, a form manifests in the air behind him. It’s a weird, almost indescribable thing, like a fat flying spider made of papier-mache of old black and white photos. It seems only half-material, and floats through walls.

The thing is on Vernon in an instant. He is pushed to the floor, and then finds himself being drawn into the floor, as if gravity directly below him was hundreds of times stronger than normal. As the characters watch, Vernon’s skin sloughs off his bones, his skull and ribcage collapse and splatter under the pressure, his eyeballs pop and he dies a very messy death indeed.

The demon-thing floats about the gory ruin for a few moments.

6. Hide and Seek:

This is where you get to be extremely mean to the players. You see, five of the six characters are going to die, no question about it. The characters are going to be hunted down and messily murdered by Mr. Demon. However, the players don’t know this. They should just be seeing you killing off their characters half-way through a convention game. Run this bit as the most tense, horrific hunt scene you can. If they haven’t already found it, let them get to the ritual in the locked cupboard, fighting a running battle against the demon, and try to cast the ritual at the last moment. It won’t work, but make them thing it’s their only hope.

The demon isn’t real, it only exists in the pc’s minds. However, the power of the magick is so great that it can cause effects in the real world. It can move through physical objects, but at a much slower speed than its normal movement. It kills PCs in a variety of ways. If a PC gets caught by the demon, roll the demon’s Grisly Yet Meaningful Death skill (70%). If the demon succeeds, the PC is caught in the death. The other pcs see the death, but aren’t affected by it. No other PC will fall into Kathy’s chasm, or be able to touch the cats that come out of Jane. Once the demon departs, the bodies show no obvious signs of magickal death.

PC: Death:

Kathy: Poor Kathy, a failed Avatar of the Flying Woman, falls. The floor opens up beneath here, revealing a deep dark chasm lined with hollow bones and rotten feathers.

Brian: The demon fades away to nothing but a green digital time readout, floating in mid-air. The readout flickers quickly towards Y2K. When it hits, the demon flares up in a nuclear inferno. Brian is turned into a radioactive, scorched Pop Tart.

John: John’s death is a comparative calm one. The demon mummifies him in thick layers of grey cloth, suffocating him.

Jane: When the demon takes her, she coughs up a furball, then is clawed apart from the inside by a host of demonic cats.

Camilla: The demon enfolds her. Divine radiance surrounds, and she is transfigured into an angelic being with serene wisdom in her eyes. She ascends into the air – then plummets to the ground, breaking her neck in the fall, leaving only an ugly and unloved corpse.

Derek As the demon approaches Derek, it transforms into the stereotypical Judge, dressed in black robes and carrying a gavel. The judge condemns Derek, and he’s reacts as though he’s in an electric chair being fried.

Once all but one of the PCs is killed in some manner, the demon turns to the survivor, advancing on them. Its alien eyes shine with an inhuman emotion. Then, across the city, the ritual candle that Maise was using burns out. The demon fades, leaving nothing but a patch of purple wax and a few pieces of stone chipped from the grave of a suicide.

7. Right, that’s all but one of the PCs dead…

Hand out the other character sheets to the five players who got their characters killed. It’s eight hours after the multiple murders in the Temple. The police were alerted by the burglar alarm, and the patrolman who found the doors and windows sealed. He forced the back door, and found a scene of carnage.

The surviving PC was found unconscious where the demon vanished. The police investigation of the incident has only just began. Two “FBI” operatives have arrived. These are New Inquisitors sent by Able to track down the source of the demon. Taliah is a Cliomancer, and has recognised Merl as an Avatar of the Oracle.

The game begins again in the police station incident room at one in the afternoon. Initial forensics have revealed nothing, but there doesn’t seem to be any way the survivor could have committed all the murders. Let the characters argue as long as they want. They should pick up on the clues pointing to Maise Blackwort. If they don’t, then Vernon’s police file has details on him & his wife.

There are several paths events can take now. Maise Blackwort will leave town, but if the PCs act quickly, they can catch her at her apartment. Also, the demon is after the survivor, and will manifest again. The next few sections can basically happen in several orders.

If the PCs ask what resources they can get, remind them Providence is a small town and that it's New Year's Day. There are more police on the way, but at the moment all they have is one Forensics guy (Bob), and half a dozen uniformed police (who will be needed for other stuff by the Police Department too).

If anybody bothers to check, a Frank Grimm has a conviction for armed robbery and is wanted for murder and robbery. His file photo looks nothing like the PC.

8. The Investigation of what has gone before:

The players might want to examine the scene of the murders. Not much has changed since the earlier section of the scenario. Both Taliah and Merl will feel the occult energies lingering around the site, and will get a definite impression of directed malice. Any attempts to use Avatar: Oracle or Cliomantic divination will get the result "The Other Woman" or "The Widow". Any attempts to discover the identity of the killer will produce the result "The Widow's Son".

9: Optional Complication. The media.

John Burroughs is the local tv station's "ace reporter". The Church Killings are the biggest story ever in Providence. If you want to take up time, then hound the PCs with Burrough. He's an annoying, intrusive reporter who takes "freedom of the press" to mean he can invade crime scenes. Any attempts to shut him up will be reported as censorship and police brutality. He's on live feed most of the time.

10. Visiting Maise Blackwort:

Maise's been busy since Vernon shacked up with Camilla. Firstly, she tried to kill herself a few times. The close brushes with death, all of which she survived by sheer chance, kicked her into Entropomancy (risk/chaos magick). She's been living in a small apartment across town, improving her magick and plotting on how to get revenge on her no-good, cheating, so-called-master-of-the-occult husband Vernon. Deny her the secrets of the universe, will he? Bastard!

Maise managed to create a little spell to summon up a demon. She intended it to mess up Vernon's ascension. With the force of the Millennium behind it, it became so much more. It's the manifestation of the death wish.

Anyway, Maise initially has no idea of what happened to the Church of the Celestial Clergy. She's been keeping the demon-summoning spell going to make Vernon's life miserable. She only checks the TV around 2.30, and finds out that her ex and his cult have all been slaughtered. When she finds this out, she panics and runs to the bus station and gets on a bus out of town. Maise's location therefore depends on how quickly the PCs find her.

11. Maise Blackwood:

Maise's an aged hippy. She got slightly tubby during her marriage to Vernon, but her training as a Bodybag mage has put her edge back on her. She's fairly unassuming, looking fairly harmless and non-violent, but she's got the hard wild eyes of a Chaos mage. She dresses in jeans and a cheap jacket. She carries a large embroidered bag containing, among other junk, a portable incense-burning gadget to keep the blue candle for the demon burning, a handgun, and a pez dispenser (pez are those little sweets). One of the pez sweets has been replaced with a toilet cleaning tablet. Maise uses this in emergencies as a form of Russian roulette to build Entropomancy charges (she’s got a 1 in 6 chance of swallowing the tablet.

Depending on when the PCs track her down, Maise's either happily maintaining her spell to mess up her ex-husband, or running from the terrible truth that she killed the Church devotees with a spell that went wrong. She's terrified of prison, though, and would rather die than go to jail.

Maise
Body 55 (sturdy)
Speed 60 (quick)
Mind 45 (shortsighted)
Soul 70 (Aware)

Skills: Struggle 30%, Mystic Crap 40%, Divorce Law 30%, Handgun 40%, Entropomancy 45%

Her handgun does up to 50 damage. She’s got 6 minor charges and 1 significant charge stored.

Maise’s a Chaos Mage. She can affect probability, reroll failures, and summon demons. If she’s not surprised by the PCs, she casts Bulletproof Chutzpah before fighting them. This spell gives her attacks on her an automatic 50% of failing. It lasts a number of rounds equal to the sum of the roll used to cast it. Her other main spell is Killing Stare, the blast spell. It does damage equal to the roll, and if she holds it for a turn, she gets to roll three dice and assemble the best roll.

Maise is the villain of the scenario, but she’s not a standard bad guy. She’s just as scared as the PCs are. She’s panicky and paranoid, and she’s got a lot of mystic power backing her up.

12. Maise's apartment:

A small, drab apartment in the cheap section of town. There are three rooms, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a combination kitchen/living room. The bathroom has a number of razor blades and empty pill bottles. The bedroom has a photo of Vernon that has been stabbed repeatedly. The main living room has a few sixties-style bits of furniture (cushions, throws, treehugging hippy crap), and a table by the window looking in the direction of the Church.

On the table is a blue candle (or traces of blue wax if the PCs get here after Maise's legged it.), a few pieces of yellowed paper (handout), a Greyhound bus timetable, a pile of black-and-white photos and a weird piece of twisted metal that looks like melted razors. The blue candle is a mystical beacon for the demon, allowing it to manifest. Destroying the candle distracts and confuses the demon for a while. The photos are either of Vernon and Maise, or gory pictures of suicide victims - the photos are arranged in alternating order.

13. Maise on the bus:

If the characters don't track Maise down until she's on the bus, they add a possible hostage situation to their problems. The bus she's on is a 50-seater Greyhound. It's easy enough to have a roadblock set up to stop the bus, but Maise will refuse to leave the bus, and is panicky enough to take passengers hostage and demand to be allowed flee Providence.

14. The Demon- back for seconds

Whenever it's least convenient, or when things are dragging, the demon returns to hunt down the pcs. It can only be seen by those who are vulnerable to it, by those who have nothing to live for…and of the current group of PCs, only the survivor, Brokaw and Grimm are vulnerable to the demon.

Before it arrives, it is heralded by a number of unnatural phenomenon.

Then the demon materialises. It looks much the same as before. If not stopped, it will home in on the survivor and kill him or her, before turning on Grimm and Brokaw.

Stopping the demon:

If they've worked out that the demon is just a materialised death wish, they can stop it if they all find something to live for. Each of the vulnerable PCs must say what their characters are going to do, why their character is clinging to life when death makes so much more sense. Be brutal here. Make them sweat. Make them roleplay. Jesus Rodriguez should have a field day here.

Otherwise, things get messy. Taliah's talisman can trap the demon - but it can only be cast when the demon is killing someone. So someone's going to have to die, and possibly more if she flubs the ritual the first time. Taliah uses her Cliomancy skill to cast the ritual. If someone else tries to use it, use half their Soul stat.

Killing Maise will get rid of the demon if you want it to. Also, if the players pick up on Dirk Allen’s little speech at the start of the game, they’ll work out that the power keeping the demon going will fade away over time as the “psychic hangover” diminishes.

Appendix 1: Non-player characters

Vernon Blackwood:

Vernon seems fairly clued-in on first glance. He knows about the Invisible Clergy, and he’s even got a handle on how to Ascend. Trouble is, despite having blundered into occult lore others kill for, Vernon’s got no breadth of vision. He’s fundamentally a small-town occultist. If Vernon did ascend, he’d use his total control of reality to mess with those he didn’t like back home.

He’s got an odd charisma about him, a warm but slightly cheap Messiahish quality. He’s like your nice uncle who does home repairs trying to be the Pope. Something about him doesn’t fit. He probably shouldn’t be doing this occult stuff anyway.

His relationship with Camilla is a weird two-level thing. Firstly, he went to find a hooker after a long and bitter argument with Maise. He brought Camilla back with him because of Vernon’s misinterpretation of the concept of the Divine Sophia and Postel – and the Naked Goddess tape.

Anyway, seeing as Vernon’s role in the scenario is to chant, get depressed, and then die, that’s probably enough on him.

Maise Blackwood:

Maise’s an ex-hippy who married Vernon early in his occult career. She got into his mix of karma and vague mystical stuff that made up the Church of the Celestial Clergy. Maise never saw the Naked Goddess tape that gave Vernon his dully brilliant obsession with the Clergy. When Vernon brought home a prostitute and gave Maise a load of crap about the Sophia, she walked out. She believed in the occult and the mystic interconnectedness of all things, but she knew a bullshit excuse when she heard one.

Two months of living alone drove her over the edge, and she started flirting with suicide. Somewhere along the way, the thrill of danger and risking her life in half-planned suicides kicked in her latent magickal abilities, and she became a Chaos Mage. She’s got a new confidence with her power, and given a few months of practise, she’ll be out of Providence and into the Occult Underground. First though, she’s gonna whistle up a demon and punish her no-good loser husband…

The Demon:

Well, it possibly isn’t a demon in UA-speak. It’s more of an Entropic, a magickal spirit which drives people into madness. Maise had no idea it would be so potent (and it wouldn’t be if it wasn’t New Years’. The demon is basically surfing a psychic wave.

HOW TO RUN Fall of a Sparrow IN FIVE MINUTES

Right. Assuming you know nothing about Unknown Armies…here we go!

The Invisible Clergy is a collection of people who’ve Ascended. They’re basically Gods who embody an aspect of humanity (The Pilgrim, the Merchant, the Fool etc). A few years back, a porn star called the Naked Goddess Ascended, and her Ascension was caught on tape. That tape has set the Occult Underground, that loose club of mages, madmen and weirder folk, on fire.

Vernon Blackwood, a minor occultist, saw the tape, and decided to try to Ascend. He founded a Temple, the Church of the Celestial Clergy. On New Year’s Eve, 1999, he’s trying to Ascend. The initial group of player characters are a bunch of losers and deadbeats who joined his Temple. They are Kathy, a failed corporate peon, Brian the ubernerd, John & Jane Doe, retirees who have nothing to live for, Derek the serial killer, and Camilla, an ex-prostitute who Vernon sees as a divine prophetess. Vernon’s wife Maise left him over Camilla. Maise’s become a sorceress in her own right, and is going to chuck a demon at Vernon to make his life a bit worse. Because of the psychic energies caused by humanity’s reaction to the Millennium, the demon Maise looses is going to be a lot more powerful.

Ok. We get odd now. The first bit of the scenario is a pair of vignettes, really short scenes involving a totally different group of people. One’s about a radio and the two people listening to it, the other’s a pair of policemen interviewing a old vagrant. These set up bits of the adventure.

The next bit is the six pcs described above in the Church. It’s New Year’s Eve, 1999. Vernon gets them all chanting and praying. At midnight, he expects the world to end. It doesn’t. Vernon locks himself in the bathroom, and the players get to play people who expected to die but now have nothing to live for.

The next morning, the demon shows up, weird stuff happens, and it kills all but one of the pcs.

Hand out the five replacement characters. These five are the people from the vignettes. They are Steve the bad cop, Jesus the good cop, Merl the vagrant/Prophet (the three from the second vignette). The other two new PCs are from the New Inquisition, an occult order. They’ve been sent to capture the demon, and they’re masquerading as FBI. They are Taliah, a history mage, and Frank an ex-robber. We do a bit of police investigating, and find out about Maise.

Depending on how fast the PCs are, they catch Maise at her apartment, unaware that she’s killed six people with her demon, or else she finds out, panics, and runs, and they catch her when she’s got a bus-load of hostages. Messy. Oh, and the demon turns up again. Taliah has a spell to catch it, but it only works when the demon is killing people. They can all survive if they work out that the demon is basically the death wish of the pcs made manifest, and if they can find something to live for, they can survive.

It’s all supposed to be strange and post-modern. Or something. Good luck and thanks.

Read the Following to the other players

The Radio Announcer: (calm, neutral voice) You’re listen to Radio KIYR, with you right through to the end. It’s 11.35 on this cold December 31st, 1999. There are only about 25 minutes to go. What’s going to happen? Well, one of our reporters asked Dirk Allen, noted New York writer, pundit and occultist.

Dirk Allen: (the voice of a lifetime alcoholic):

What’s going to happen? When? The fucking millennium?

I have had enough of this shit.

Look, the millennium isn’t the problem. They messed up all the Biblical calculations, 2000 isn’t 2000 years after anything. And the millennium doesn’t really start for another year, least that’s what those pedantic wankers keep telling me.

No, the problem is people.

Tonight, look out at the city. There are millions of people out there. Some of ‘em are convinced the world’s gonna end, or all the computers are gonna crash and the nukes are gonna launch. Some of ‘em have got religion all of a sudden. And the rest are at parties getting bombed out of their heads on booze and whatever rec-ree-a-shun-al phar-ma-suit-ic-als they prefer. What does all that mean? It means people are getting deep, going into their heads, touching fundamental shit, the old trackways of the soul.

But nothing’s going to happen at midnight.

So the world is going to have a mother of a psychic hangover in the morning.

Voice 1

You’re a gruff man. You’re driving, and are listening to the radio. You’re tired and cynical, and not in the best of moods. Your companion irritates you. You’d prefer to be pretty much anywhere than where you are – driving towards Providence, Ohio.

Voice 2

You’re a strange, otherworldly woman. You’re the passenger in a car driving towards Providence, Ohio. You’re strangely calm at all times, and find deeper, hidden meanings in everything. You also have a disturbingly vicious streak.

Merl

You’re an aged homeless lunatic. You got arrested tonight for trying to start a fire. You had to do it though, because you know that a lighthouse is needed to guide people, because the demon feeds on the lost ships. You have to convince the policemen to let you go and burn down something, because otherwise it will be bad.

Officer Jesus Rodriguez

You’re a police officer in Providence, Ohio. It’s December 31st, 1999. You and your partner, Steve Brokaw, are interviewing an old nutter, Merl, who you arrested for attempted arson earlier. Merl is a harmless loony, burning down church towers is out of character for him. You’d prefer to be at home with your family tonight on New Year’s eve, but you know people always need help.

Officer Steve Brokaw

You’re a police officer in Providence, Ohio. It’s December 31st, 1999. You and your partner, Jesus Rodriguez, are interviewing an old nutter, Merl, who you arrested for attempted arson earlier. You’re in a bitter and mean mood, and have no patience for Merl. He tried to burn down a church tower. Find out what drugs he’s on tonight, then throw him in a cell.

The spirits of the Astral Plane may occasionally be hostile. Do not be alarmed if, during your Astral Voyaging, you encounter a source of dark energies or bad vibrations. Don’t show fear, be as strong and confident as you can. Project a mental beam of white light to disrupt the spirit. That should disperse most Astral Parasites.

If you encounter something stronger, drop out of the Astral and perform the following ritual. It is taken from ancient Sufi doctrines, and should banish any evil energies or spirits from the area.

1. Clear a circular area. The diameter of the circle must be a multiple of three in cubits.

2. Light one candle for every person taking part in the ritual. The more people, the stronger the positive energy flow, and the more powerful the banishment. Put the candles around the circle.

3. Join hands and chant “oh spirit, we acknowledge your right to exist as a free and unfettered entity, but we cannot share your trip. Hear us now as we abjure thee.”

4. One person should now go around the circle snuffing out the candles. As each candle is snuffed out, the other participants should chant “oh spirit, let the fading light by the domain of thy travels.”

5. Once the last candle is gone, the spirit will be banished to another, far-off section of the Astral Plane.

Blue candle gravestone pebble
Waxen ashes broken hopes
Let me back in.
Who are you?
IT DOESNT MATTER. ILL DO WHAT YOU WANT JUST LET ME BACK IN.
How do you know I want you to do anything?
DONT BE A FOOL. I CAN TASTE YOU. YOU WANT TO HURT HIM. YOU WANT HIM TO FAIL. YOU WANT HIM TO FAIL. HE DOES TOO, DEEP DOWN. I WILL HELP HIM... SEE THAT.
Who were you? Before?
THAT DOESNT MATTER.
What will you do to him?
I WILL SHOW THEM WHAT I SAW. ILL SHOW THEM THE TRUTH IN THEIR SOULS. ILL BRING THEM THROUGH IT ALL, JUST LIKE ME.
I don’t understand.
THERE IS A TIDE IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN... LET ME BACK IN NOW. PLEASE. YOU KNOW IT HAS TO BE DONE TONIGHT.
How?
YOU CAN FEEL THE THREADS, FEEL THE FLAWS IN THE WORLD. JUST MAKE THAT ONE THERE... A BIT WIDER.
Remember, I just want him to fail.
WE ALL FAIL. ILL JUST MAKE HIM REMEMBER THAT.

BRIAN HEZINGGER

It’s all coming down tonight.

You always loved computers. They were your friends. People (especially girls) stared at you or laughed or got grossed out when you said stuff, but computers – they don’t judge. You type whatever you want into a UNIX prompt, and it’ll never laugh at you. You were a hacker for a few years.

Then you began to realise what was coming. Y2K. The millennium “bug”. It’s no fucking bug. It’s the End. No-one’s going to be able to handle the Chaos that’s going to hit. The crashes will ripple through the networks, machine after machine will go down. Something – a computer watching for Communist rockets, a Chinese nuclear power station monitor, whatever – will go wrong. And the world will end. The computers will kill us all.

Not you. You’re hiding out with the Temple of the Celestial Clergy. You’ve got a backpack full of preserved food, bottled water, penicillin and survival gear. If you survive the Apocalypse, you’ll be ready to conquer a new world. You’ll show everyone who laughed at you. You’ll be King of the World.

The Brethren:

Vernon: The boss of the Temple. You don’t go in for the mystic stuff, but the Temple’s in the middle of nowhere, probably outside the blast radius of the nukes.

Kathy: She’s hot. You’d kinda like to lose your virginity with her before the End.

John & Jane: Old people. They don’t understand computers.

Camilla: Weird chick.

Derek: You’re not quite sure how to talk to Derek.

Obsession: Survival
Wound Points: 50
Stats:
Body: 50 (tubby but tough)
Speed: 60 (sneaky)
Mind: 65 (smart)
Soul: 35 (unpleasant)
Skills:
Body: Struggle 25%, Survive on Mountain Dew 40%
Speed: Firearms 15%, First Person Shooters 60%
Mind: Computer Geekery 65%, Survival Techniques 20%
Soul: Lie 40%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
3 Hardened 0 Hardened 1 Hardened 3 Hardened 3 Hardened
0 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed 0 Failed 1 Failed

CAMILLA RAND

You have seen the light of darkness. The power inherent in the Demi-urge has embraced you.

Before your transformation, you were a twenty-dollar hooker in Cinncinnati, Ohio. You sold your body to dull-eyed and sweaty men. You took junk so you didn’t have to feel anything.

Then Vernon came. He recognised you for who you are, the Re-in-car-nation of the Divine Sophia. You are The Herald of the Celestial Clergy, a woman possessed of a holy destiny. Vernon told you so.

Vernon knows the world is going to end. Only a lucky few will escape the rapture that is coming. You are a powerful sensitive, a gateway to the other side. You have supernatural powers which will bloom on the night of the Millennium. You’ve Cast Off your former identity as a pros-tit-ute, and embraced your role as the Psychic Herald of the Clergy. You act with dignity and mystery at all times.

You are the High Priestess of the Temple of the Celestial Clergy. On this night, you will be the Gateway of the Ascension.

The Brethren:

Vernon: The High Archon. He showed you your true destiny. He is the wisest man in the world. You and he share the sacrament of your body nightly.

Kathy: She Does Not Believe In Vernon’s Wisdom. She will be punished when the Rapture comes.

Brian: He too Does Not Believe. And he smells.

John & Jane: The First Devotees. They are the Faithful.

Derek: He has shown you his faith. And he’s kinda cute.

Obsession: Mysticism
Wound Points: 45
Stats:
Body: 45 (abused)
Speed: 65 (quick)
Mind: 30 (dumb as a post)
Soul: 65 (open to the world)
Skills:
Body: Distracting breast implants 30%, Struggle 30%
Speed: Drive 40%, Dodge 40%
Mind: General Education 5%, Notice 10%
Soul: Mysticism 30%, Tawdry Seduction 30%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
2 Hardened 0 Hardened 0 Hardened 2 Hardened 4 Hardened
2 Failed 1 Failed 2 Failed 0 Failed 1 Failed

DEREK

Your past doesn’t matter, really.

You were born somewhere, your parents were ordinary people, you went to school, had friends, fooled around. The usual. When you were seventeen, you did something interesting, and killed your best friend Bobby Bishop.

You were reborn in his blood. The thought of being able to snuff someone else’s life out excited you more than anything else ever. In the same way other kids decide to become firemen or pilots, you became a serial killer.

Not a very good one, mind you. You killed once more before being caught and imprisoned. The charges were reduced on grounds of insanity, and you got out after twenty-five years. You found religion in prison, in a vague, I’d-better-join-a-church sense. When you got out, you had no idea how to function in the late twentieth century. Then you met Vernon, who told you he believed the world was going to end. This suited you just fine, so you joined his Temple of the Celestial Clergy.

The world ends tonight. You wonder if God’s gonna feel the same way you did when you gutted Bobby Bishop with a screwdriver.

The Brethren:

Vernon: The Preacher.

Kathy: Depressed woman. You’d be interested in her if you still were interested in women, but 25 years in jail means you kill your libido or go crazy. Or both.

Brian: Geek.

John & Jane: Ordinary folks. They remind you of your parents – although Jane feels weirdly familiar to you.

Camilla: She seems crazy to you, but who are you to talk? Vernon’s sleeping with her.

Obsession: None
Wound Points: 60
Stats:
Body: 60 (hardened ex-con)
Speed: 60 (like a snake)
Mind: 40 (dull-eyed)
Soul: 30 (dead to the world)
Skills:
Body: Break People 45%, Tough Guy 30%
Speed: Dodge 20%, Grab Weapon Faster Than Anyone Else 50%
Mind: Poker 30%, Ignore Everything & Keep Going 30%
Soul: Lie 20%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
8 Hardened 0 Hardened 3Hardened 6 Hardened 10 Hardened
0 Failed 0 Failed 0Failed 1 Failed 2 Failed

JANE ODE

Your name is Jane. You are sixty years old. You are a nice, kind, quiet person. You have been married to John for forty years. John worked for Providence Electrical for 35 years until you retired. You lived in the same house with John from 1958 to 1998. Every day, he would leave for work at half past eight, and come home at half past five. You would clean the house and listen to the radio. You would spend a quiet evening in, except for Thursdays, when you would play Bridge. Weekends, you went for drives in the country or visited your sister Dora.

In 1998, you snapped from forty years of utter and total boredom and strangled Dora, with a ball of wool. Dora kept complaining about her cats every week. If you have to listen to one more tale about hairballs on the rug….anyway, you had to run away with John. You met a man called Vernon. He told you the world was going to end and that he was starting a Temple to escape the Apocalypse. You had nothing to do between 8.30 and 5.30 every day, so you and John joined the Temple. It keeps you busy.

You moved into the Temple a few months ago. Now the world is going to end.

The Brethren:

John: Your husband.

Vernon: A nice man. You have faith in him.

Kathy: A nice young woman. Not always polite though.

Brian: A young man. You think he’s got an eye on Kathy.

Camilla: Odd girl. Not normal. Vernon is sleeping with her. His wife, Maise, left him over her. Not good.

Derek: A quiet man. He plays poker, but you’ve been trying to teach him bridge.

Obsession: None
Wound Points: 45
Stats:
Body: 45 (Aged)
Speed: 40 (Taking things slowly)
Mind: 55 (Enjoys Crosswords)
Soul: 30 (Life of Soul-Crushing Boredom)
Skills:
Body: Struggle 15%, Do Exercise Video 20%
Speed: Drive Slowly 40%
Mind: Notice 40%, Bridge 40%
Soul: Charm 20%, Stay Calm 30%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
0 Hardened 0 Hardened 0 Hardened 3 Hardened 0 Hardened
2 Failed 0 Failed 3 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed

JOHN ODE

Your name is John. You are sixty-one years old. You are a nice, kind, quiet person. You have been married to Jane for forty years. You worked for Providence Electrical for 35 years until you retired. You lived in the same house with Jane from 1958 to 1998. Every day, you would leave for work at half past eight, and come home at half past five. You would spend a quiet evening in, except for Thursdays, when you would play Bridge. Weekends, you went for drives in the country or visited Jane’s sister Dora.

In 1998, Jane strangled Dora with a ball of wool, so you had to run away with Jane. You met a man called Vernon. He told you the world was going to end and that he was starting a Temple to escape the Apocalypse. You had nothing to do between 8.30 and 5.30 every day, so you and Jane joined the Temple. It keeps you busy.

You moved into the Temple a few months ago. Now the world is going to end.

The Brethren:

Jane: Your wife.

Vernon: A nice man. You have faith in him.

Kathy: A nice young woman. Not always polite though.

Brian: He likes those computer things. You never quite got the hang of them.

Camilla: A nice young lady. You don’t understand a word she says though. Vernon is sleeping with her. His wife, Maise, left him over her. Not good.

Derek: A quiet man. He plays poker, but you’ve been trying to teach him bridge.

Obsession: None
Wound Points: 45
Stats:
Body: 50 (Hard working life)
Speed: 40 (Slow)
Mind: 50 (Good with his hands)
Soul: 40 (Dull)
Skills:
Body: Struggle 20%, Physical Labour 40%
Speed: Drive 30%, Dodge 20%
Mind: Notice 20%, Bridge 20%, Electrics 30%
Soul: Charm 25%, Shut Up At The Right Time 30%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
1 Hardened 0 Hardened 1 Hardened 1 Hardened 1 Hardened
1 Failed 1 Failed 0 Failed 0 Failed 1 Failed

KATHY SMITH

It was all going so well. You graduated from Harvard, a bright young thing, ready to take on the world and kick its ass. You were smart, energetic and friendly. Life was going so perfectly for you. You felt like you were flying.

You got a job with AQL Financials, and were thrilled to be assigned to work with CJ Allen himself. Then things started going wrong. You never worked out why, but suddenly nothing worked anymore. Every little accident and annoyance that could happen to you did. Your job which had excited you so much was suddenly soul-crushingly boring. You became chronically fatigued, then depressed.

Your psychologist spouted bullshit at you and charged you for the privilege. You got into a huge screaming match with CJ Allen, which made you feel better but cost you your job and any chance of working with anyone he knows (and he knows everyone who matters). You wandered around the country for a while, living off your dwindling savings. Eventually, you joined the Temple of the Celestial Clergy. You don’t believe a word of the crap High Archon Vernon spouts, but he tells you what to do and you don’t have to think for yourself, which is kind of restful. They feed you, and you get to stay in their dorms.

The world’s going to end tonight, apparently. Whatever.

The Brethren:

Vernon: He tells you answers which make some sense, and tells you what to do. You’ve only screwed things up for yourself, so you may as well let someone else have a go.

Brian: UltraNerd. If the world wasn’t going to end, you get annoyed by him.

John & Jane: Nice people. Sort of bovine in their placid acceptance. You envy them their unthinking serenity.

Camilla: She seems crazy to you, but who are you to talk? Vernon’s sleeping with her.

Derek: Psycho. He scares you.

Obsession: None (formerly Success)
Wound Points: 50
Stats:
Body: 50 (Healthy)
Speed: 50 (Average)
Mind: 60 (Smart)
Soul: 35 (was) 55 (Decaying)
Skills:
Body: Karate 25%, Jogging 30%,
Speed: Drive 30%, Quick At Doing Stuff 30%
Mind: Business Sense 50%, Notice 30%
Soul: Avatar: Flying Woman 0%, Charm 20%, Lie 20%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
0 Hardened 2 Hardened 2 Hardened 1 Hardened 1 Hardened
0 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed

FRANK GRIMM

It's a game.

The only players in the game are you and the Universe. The goal is to make your life as shitty as possible. So far, the Universe is winning hands down, 'cos your life is as crap as they come.

Ok. Age 19, conviction for armed robbery. 5 year sentence. A fight with another inmate who wanted to explore your anatomy with a broken chair leg got you marked down for bad behaviour, and you didn't get out for six-and-a-half years. You got you to find your mother hadn't been visiting you because she was really, really sick. You tried to get a job to get the money to pay for the chemotherapy, but you couldn't, not with your record. So when they said "want to help us rob a bank", you said yes.

One severely-fucked-up bank raid later, you were on the run with two murders on your hands. The shock of seeing her beloved Frankie on America's Most Wanted was too much for Mum, and she died. The cops couldn't find you, but the bills for the hospital somehow managed to track you down.

Then a man from Seattle offered you a new identity, money, a job, a new life, you said yes.

That's when things got really bad. The man was Alex Able. Able's idea of a job is a place in his New Inquisition, a privately funded investigation into the Occult. There is really really weird shit out there. In the last year and a half, you've had the flesh melted off your left forearm by some punk kid with a lot of piercings in his nose. You've seen a man be eaten alive by his own liver (and that thing had teeth). You've seen a woman who called herself the Crusading Knight, who chopped off another guy's head with a sword that appeared from nowhere. You've seen mages read people's minds, change the laws of luck, or hurl blasts of pure hate. Being an Inquisitor sucks.

Right now, you're in the middle of Providence, Ohio. Able's Oracles told him that a big demon has landed somewhere in town, and you get to do a Ghostbusters impression and stick the thing in a bottle. You arrived too late to stop it killing a load of cultist loonies, so you've used fake Ids and magick to pretend to be FBI and you're now in on the police investigation.

Maybe they'll find out who you are. Maybe you'll get killed. 'Cos right now, you're so close to bottom you can spit on the foundations of life's fundamantal shitness. Things can only get worse.

The Others:

Taliah Weathers: The other Inquisitor. Taliah's a mage, a Cobwebber. She feeds on history, on fame, and can rewrite memory and thought. She's also a cold-hearted shrew, and you don't trust her.

Officer Brokaw: Mean cop. If he'd been chasing you for that bank job, you'd have been caught within a day.

Officer Rodriguez: Nice guy for a cop. He reminds you of the bank guard who's head you blew off.

Merl: Some old alcoholic who was in the drunk tank. Taliah's suddenly obsessed with him, and has got him freed. Bloody wizards, they're all nuts.

Obsession: Staying Alive
Wound Points: 55
Stats:
Body: 55 (tough)
Speed: 60 (faster than average)
Mind: 45 (Not that bright)
Soul: 40 (hard man)
Skills:
Body: Struggle 40%, Athletic stuff 40%
Speed: Blast the Crap out of the Monsters 50%, Drive 20%
Mind: General Education 20%, Law Enforcement Jargon 30%, Notice 20%
Soul: Charm 20%, Lie 30%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
5 Hardened 3 Hardened 2 Hardened 1 Hardened 1 Hardened
2 Failed 2 Failed 1 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed

JESUS RODRIGUEZ (age 32)

Your family emigrated to the United States in the 1930s, and there’s been a great tradition of gratitude and patriotism ever since. You served as a Marine during the Gulf War, and became a police officer when you left the service. In the last few years, you’ve advanced quickly through the ranks. You’ve got a keen eye, a knack for deduction, and a warm and charming personality. People open up to you. You’re married to Maria, and have two children (and a third on the way).

You’re basically living the American Dream, and helping others along the way.

Your partner is Steve Brokaw. Steve’s a good man, but he’s a lot more cynical and mean-spirited than you are. He’s got a drive for justice that you lack, but it sometimes takes him too far over the edge. You make an excellent good cop/bad cop team.

Last night (New Year’s Eve), you arrested Merl, a homeless derelict. He was trying to burn down a Church. You questioned him, but couldn’t get a straight answer out of him. Then, just as you were about to go off-shift, you got a call reporting multiple homicides. The department is short-staffed over the holidays, so you’re stuck with the case.

You want to get this case wrapped up as quickly as possible, so you can get home. It’s a bright, crisp day, the first day of a new Millennium. Time to make it a better one.

Steve Brokaw: Your partner. He technically outranks you, but you work different angles, so you don’t normally come into conflict. Steve’s a lot older than you, strange he’s still on the streets.

Taliah Weathers: An FBI agent. The Feds arrived just after the first call came in, but they haven’t taken control of the investigation yet. Taliah’s a psychologist or something.

Frank Grimm: The other FBI agent. He seems more of an ex-cop than Taliah… He’s impatient and foul-mouthed.

Merl: For some reason, the FBI asked that Merl be released and allowed to sit in on the investigation. You don’t know what the fuck’s going on, but this is not standard procedure.

Obsession: Protecting the Innocent
Wound Points: 65
Stats:
Body: 65 (well built)
Speed: 50 (Average)
Mind: 45 (Knows what he needs to know)
Soul: 60 (Warm and charming)
Skills:
Body: Struggle 40%, Athletics 30%
Speed: Drive 30%, Shoot from the Hip 30%
Mind: Notice 50%, Law Enforcement 20%
Soul: Charm 30%, Sixth Sense for Trouble 30%
MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
4 Hardened 1 Hardened 3 Hardened 0 Hardened 1 Hardened
1 Failed 0 Failed 0 Failed 0 Failed 0 Failed

MERL

They call you crazy, the misguided fools! They do not understand the glory that is manifest to your eyes, the unfolding wonder of the threaded web of fates and destinies. You are the Seer, the Prophet, the Soothsayer. You are an Oracle. Oh…well, you probably are mad too. It goes with the role.

Roles are what it’s all about, cosmically speaking. There’s only so much existence to go round, only so much to do in the universe. The Invisible Clergy are the core of everything, they’re the Secret Masters behind all the masks. They are the pinnacles, the sum totals, the archetypes of humanity. The clergy define what reality is, what you can be. Think of them as masks. There are hundreds of masks, a mask for every fundamental aspect of the human condition. Tap into their power, wear the mask, and feel alive.

You’re an Avatar of the Oracle. You are one of the rare folk who embody foresight and precognition. You can see – dimly, faintly, through a glass darkly – what’s going to happen.

Yeah, it drives you out of your mind and you live on the streets and you look like a crazy old bum in a flasher’s trenchcoat with a bottle in a paper bag, but the payoff is that you can see the future. Anyways, last night, you saw that someone was going to cry havoc, and let slip the dog of suicidal death wishes made real. Something dark and evil with big sharp pointy teeth was set loose in the town. You tried to do the sensible option – burn down a church to distract the thing, ‘cos it’s a hunter – but the police stopped you and now lots of people are dead. And lots more are going to die. Unless it’s stopped. Yeah. Police. They arrested you, the fascist bastards. How dare they? Don’t they know your ancestors ruled Delphi?

The Oracle pushes at your temples and makes your ears hurt. There isn’t much future left, and that thing that she let go is eating some of the wax destinies.

The Others:

Officer Brokaw: He’s the guy who will kill the guy on 4th street for dealing in 2001.

Officer Rodriguez: Nice guy. Gets shot in the back in about four months.

Taliah Weathers: Oh Gods you can’t read her she’s not there not there not there at all.

Frank Grimm: Someone cut off his past to give him a future.

Obsession: Fate
Wound Points: 35
Stats:
Body: 35 (Old & Infirm)
Speed: 40 (Not too fast)
Mind: 60 (Leaps of Logic)
Soul: 70 (Cosmically Sensitive)
Skills:
Body: Wrestle Brown Paper Bag Off Social Worker 30%, Survive Pneumonia 30%
Speed: Duck for Cover 40%, Pick Pocket 10%
Mind: Notice 50%, Mystic Knowledge 30%
Soul: Avatar: Oracle 50%, Quirky Charm 25%
Your avatar skill lets you predict the future in a vague fashion.
MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
0 Hardened 2 Hardened 2 Hardened 1 Hardened 1 Hardened
0 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed 0 Failed 2 Failed

STEVE BROKAW (age 46)

They’re all at it. Thieves, pimps, hookers, crack smugglers, muggers, murderers. They’re all defiling the country.

You didn’t become a cop for the pension plan. You became a cop to hurt bad people. That’s what you do.

You’ve got a mediocre arrest record, which explains why you haven’t been promoted very much despite twenty years in the job. Your real record, the one that matters to you though, is a lot better. For every creep you put behind bars, there’s another two you kneecapped and left to bleed, or shot and buried in the woods. They all deserved it, and you gave them what they deserved. They sinned against the Law, and the Law judged them, and you executed that Judgement.

Your partner is Jesus Rodriguez. He’s a good, clean man, with a nice family. Despite being an ex-marine, and spent years in the force, he’s got an idealism that’s almost pure. He’s the kind of people you fight for. He’s the kind of people you kill for.

Last night, you and he arrested an old homeless guy, Merl. Arson. You let Rodriguez handle it. This morning, though, you got a call. Multiple homicides. Yes. Your stuff. Although you’ve been up all night, the department’s short-staffed, so you and Rodriguez are taking this one. You exist on coffee and doughnuts stuffed with caffeine pills anyway.

Someone killed last night. You are going to kill them. You live and die for Justice.

Jesus: Your partner. Protect the kid.

Taliah Weathers: An FBI agent. You don’t know what they’re doing here. You don’t trust them either, much.

Frank Grimm: The other FBI agent. He stinks of prison to you for some reason.

Merl: The FBI had him sprung and are allowing him to sit in on the investigation. Something’s going on, and it ain’t right.

Obsession: Justice
Wound Points: 55
Stats:
Body: 55 (Healthy)
Speed: 60 (Fast)
Mind: 50 (Single-minded)
Soul: 45 (Cold surface hiding your rage)
Skills:
Body: Justified Brutality 40%, Athletic Cop Stuff 30%
Speed: Blow Them Away 50%, Drive Like A Madman 20%
Mind: Notice 30%, Deduction 30%
Soul: Sense Lie 20%

MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
5 Hardened 0 Hardened 1 Hardened 3 Hardened 3 Hardened
1 Failed 0 Failed 0 Failed 1 Failed 2 Failed

TALIAH WEATHERS

People don’t use the word vocation very well any more. They don’t get it right. A vocation is a calling you can’t resist, it’s knowing your true place in the universe. Some have vocations to be priests or doctors.

You had a vocation to be a sorceress. You’re a Cliomancer, you walk the lines of fate that run through history. Your magick draws on the power of memories and significance that accumulates like golden cobwebs around historical sites. You can channel this power into the collective unconscious of all humanity, learning anything that can be known and rewriting memory at will. What has happened, what we remember, what we believe, what we are - these things are yours to play with.

You joined the New Inquisition purely for power. The New Inquisition is a privately funded investigation into the Occult, run by a billionaire called Alex Able. TNI provides funding, training, magickal resources, and protection. In exchange, you get sent on little jaunts like this one.

One of Able's Oracles predicted the arrival of a powerful demon in Providence, Ohio around now. You and another Inquisitor have been sent to track down and either capture or kill the demon - preferably capture. You've been given a talisman, a ship in a bottle made by a deranged mage. It can trap the demon, but only when the demon is “feeding” or very close to our reality.

You arrived in Providence too late to stop the initial attack of the demon. Several people dead, but the thing is still out there. The power of it entices you. You want that demon. You've used fake FBI identifications and your Cliomantic spells to masquerade as FBI agents and tag along with the police identification. Find the demon and bind it.

You're a cold, malicious bitch with an insatiable hunger for magickal power. Mundanes are playthings to be twisted and broken with your powers.

The Mundanes:

Frank Grimm: Your fellow Inquisitor. An ex-bank robber, Frank was taken in and given a new identity by TNI. He's a muscleman and leg-breaker. You're in charge.

Officer Brokaw: A cold and brutal cop. He makes Frank look like a choirboy.

Officer Rodriguez: A bleeding-heart nice cop.

Merl: Now here's a surprise. Merl's a homeless vagrant -but he's also an Avatar of the Oracle. You've had Merl freed from his jail cell and brought into the investigation. You're taking Merl back with you. An Oracle is a useful tool for an ambitious sorceress.

Obsession: Magick
Wound Points: 40
Stats:
Body: 40 (Waiflike)
Speed: 55 (Eerily Quick)
Mind: 50 (Intellectual)
Soul: 65 (Mystickal)
Body: Struggle 25%, General Athletics 25%
Speed: Drive 30%, Dodge 30%
Mind: Notice 25%, History 45%
Soul: Cliomancy 45%, Lie 25%, Charm 25%
MADNESS METER
Violence Unnatural Helplessness Isolation Self
2 Hardened 5 Hardened 0 Hardened 3 Hardened 3 Hardened
2 Failed 2 Failed 2 Failed 1 Failed 1 Failed

MAGICK

As a Cliomancer, a mage who weaves history & meaning together, you can alter the minds of others or draw on the knowledge possessed by the collective unconscious. Nothing has meaning except the meaning history gives it. To warp the weave of meaning, you must draw on the power of historical nexuses – places of great significance to humanity. Places like the place where Kennedy was shot. Like Big Ben. Like the atom bomb testing site. Cliomancers (or cobwebbers) are mystickal tourists.

Trouble is, Providence, Ohio is 100% free of historical sites, so you’re stuck with the power you’ve gathered elsewhere. You have 7 charges to use with the following spells.

Trivia (one charge): Learn any published fact that is freely available to the public – anyone’s listed phone number, anything openly on the Internet, anything in an encyclopedia – instantly.

Familiar Face (one charge): Target someone with this spell. They feel like they recognise you. They won’t know where they’ve met you before, but they’ll think you’re an old friend of sorts.

Common Knowledge (two charges): Copy a skill possessed by anyone nearby. If someone else has, say, Firearms, you can copy their knowledge of guns.

You Remember Now (three charges): Implant a memory into someone’s mind. You can either go wide & general (we used to be friends) or short and specific.

Past Sight (three charges): See what happened at a site in the past at a specified time.

1. Everything’s changed now. I saw Her Ascend in a shining light.The angel was beautiful as she flew up into Heaven. I know, deep in my heart, the same way I know that grass is green and America is good, I know that there are only a few places left in Heaven, and when it’s full, all the world will be washed away.

2. Maise’s with me now. I love her so much. She understands what’s going on, how important my work is. With her, we’ll find more people who believe, and when the Apocalypse comes at the Millennium, we’ll Ascend just like She did.

3. On this day, I, Vernon Blackwood, did solemnly and with all piety found the most Holy Church of the Celestial Clergy in Providence, Ohio, in the United States of America. My brethren and I will ride out the Final Storm together in this ship of love.

4. The bitch cant talk to me like that. I mean, Im the mean of the church, so Ill spend the money on whatever I want. She never saw her, so she doesnt know squat about heaven. Fuck her. Where are my keys. Stop writing.

5. Let it be recorded that on this day I took into the Church the woman who is the Reincarnation of the Divine Sophia, the Principle of the Holy Female, Camilla. I grant her the title “Seer of the Church of the Celestial Clergy.”

6. Maise’s gone.

7. Tonight. 31st January. 1999. The End of Everything.

We’re going to Ascend tonight. I can feel it.

God – I’m coming.