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And now for something completely different.
Author: David Sweet
An adventure idea from watching a Monty Python episode.
This adventure should start off at some point when the player knights
are erranting about the countryside. To begin the adventure, have the
characters make an awareness check. Anyone character who makes it
will hear the cries of a woman far off from the road.
If the knights ride towards the source of the screams, a small tower
will shortly come into view. If the wind had not been blowing from
the direction of the tower, the troupe would not have ever been able
to hear the lady.
ENCOUNTER AT THE TOWER
The tower has a single window twenty-five feet off the ground. Inside
is the figure of a frantic lady, screaming continually. At the
tower's base, stands a fully armored knight. When the knights near
the tower, the lady will be discovered to be gorgeous, rivaling even
Gwenivere. Since first heard, the lady has not stopped yelling. Once
the troupe is close enough to hear individual words, things like,
"Help!", "Save me!", "Quickly now, do not hesitate, my life is in
danger!", "Your honor for my safety!", and "Oh God, help!" will be
The knight is clad from head to foot in the finest armour. He bears
the shield of a black knight. Upon close approximation, he will greet
the players, raising his right hand in salute. No amount of coaxing
will get him to speak. Meanwhile, the fair maiden is making up for
Certainly the troupe will try to speak to the knight. However, if at
any point a member of the troupe should come into striking distance of
the knight, he will attack. If communication is preferred over
action, the troupe member who is the most vocal will be challenged.
The knight will draw his sword, rise it high, and then point at the
troupe member in question. The knight will then stand at the ready,
until the challenge is accepted.
The Knight will attack at 10, and do 5d6 damage. He will apparently
die from the first successful blow against him. If examined the
knight will in fact be dead. Though he will, of course, have fallen
over, his feet will be firmly attached to the ground. This is not so
terribly strange to mention unless he is moved.
The maiden will not stop asking for assistance. The hope is that a
Knight will climb up. A rope and grappling hook would work, but the
stone work is rough enough to be without rope though. A climber will
notice that the bricks are a little warm. If asked, the stone work
will be described as unusual. It seems to be hollow or plastic.
Insistence by the maiden will hopefully get the knight inside,
however. Once the knight is inside, the tower window will close.
At this time, the dead knight will jump up and grab a troupe member
(randomly from those closest). At this point, it will be revealed
that the knight is attacked to the tower by a strange flesh-like
appendage, which was concealed beneath the ground before the knight
grabbed the troupe member. Via this appendage, the tower will list
the knight to its mouth (the window). The knight will then pop the
troupe member in, like popcorn.
Either the grab or the subsequent pop into the mouth might be
unsuccessful. Creativity by a player character, not long after the
announcement should be rewarded, by a chance for the tower to fail its
hold or the following swallow.
The tower, with the knight attached will then run off to a nearby
menacing forest at a horrendous speed.
INSIDE THE TOWER
While the majority of the troupe is figuring out what to do, a quick
description should be given to any knights trapped in the tower. They
will find themselves in a square rooms. The walls will be slick and
membrane like. The floor is littered with armor and other knightly
equipment. Most of it is scarred and pitted, as if it were burned by
acid. We'll return to our trapped knights shortly.
TRACKING THE TOWER
The tower is easy to track, as it will have gorged huge chunks out of
the ground. Near the edge of the forest a nasty smelly mess will be
found in the middle of the tower's path. In the mess is a skeleton of
the same size as the first abducted troupe member.
Before the end of the day, any knight making another awareness roll
will hear a woman yelling in distress. When the troupe approaches the
screams, they will see the same scene as before.
INSIDE THE TOWER II
Before the second encounter with the tower is played, the several
hours inside the tower's stomach should be taken care of. To heighten
suspense, allow the troupe to believe the first abducted member is
dead as long as possible.
If the room is searched, the remains of up to two people will be
found. On and around then will be typical armaments and d6 librums.
Everything will be dissolving and discolored. The librum is
tenderable, and the weapons wieldable (though they are in
embarassingly poor shape), but the armor is useless (since the straps
went first). Another search will find d3 more librum in even worse
shape but still tenderable.
The knights will be able to damage the tower from the inside
Damage done inside counts, but forty points
of damage done will cause enough flooding to drown an occupant.
The only way out for a party member is to hack his way out either up
(thru the mouth) or down (the other end), but to even get started one
would kill oneself. As the walls of the stomach are wounded, fluids
will gush out. If forty points of damage are done, the fluids will
have risen to the top of the stomach, and the knights will be
Once the stomach is flooded successful energetic rolls will represent
the occupant holding his breath. As long as he holds his breath, he
may still attack, one energetic roll per attack. The stomach bears no
armour. It will take a total of 110 points of damage to kill the
beast. This includes damage to the stomach, the maiden's room and the
knight. Theoretically, the people stuck in the beast's stomach could
kill the beast, but their best hope is to wait for help to arrive.
The stomach will absorb fluid at the same rate as it heals itself.
Therefore, if 10 pts is done to the wall then the occupants will be
about 1/4 of the way to killing themselves. After a very long time
all of this fluid should be reabsorbed, but the wall will no longer
have a wound. The stomach will take weeks to digest an occupant. A
good day will pass before any damage is done, but any exposed skin
will receive a rash. Enough of a rash in the right places will effect
appearance. Armour will be tarnished. An occupant can avoid real
damage a very long time if he sacrificed some armour so that contact
with the floor is avoided.
SECOND ENCOUNTER WITH THE TOWER
Meanwhile, the rest of the troupe will be again interacting with the
tower beast. If they try and speak with the beast, they will find
that neither the knight nor the lady are able to truly communicate.
Likewise, if the tower is attacked, it will prove ineffective. Doing
so is like hitting a brick wall.
The beast will not remember the last encounter, but once it sees that
it old ploy is not working, it will run away, only to repeat the same
process if it lives. Before it can run though, it must expose its
unprotected armour on its base. If damage is done here, these wounds
must be summed with all others, internal and external. If more than
110 points of damage are done, the beast will die.
When the beast is slain it will fall over. A particularly cruel story
guide could give it chance to land on and kill a troupe member. Once
the tower is on its side, a troupe member could cut his way through
either end. When the stomach is reach the occupants will pour out.
The troupe member cutting will, of course, be effected by the stomachs
TELLING THE TALE
If the story of the tower beast is told in court then any armour will
be replaced, but Arthur will insist that the old armour is kept and
put on display as proof of the amazing tale. The slaying of the Tower
beast will be extraordinarily glorious (100 pts), and being swallowed
or just watching is ordinary (10 pts).